suicide

In the process.
I'm in the process of cutting myself.
Cutting myself off from everyone.
From everyone whom I ever knew.
Whom ever hurt me.
Whom ever loved me.

Cut off the arm...






...so it no longer causes pain.




Maybe even God.
God never let me down.
But God loved me.
And that is too much dissapointment for me.
Dissapointment...
Dissapointed that deep relationships no longer exist.
Relationships that I thought existed...
I thought they existed but it turned out a lie.
A lie, time and time again, the possibility failed.
The possibility has turned to zero.
And in zer0 I will live.



Your heart is a muscle - you work it out to tear the muscles...





...so they will grow back stronger - I tear my heart.








I will flee.
Flee from everything that ever hurt.
Hurt me? You will no longer.
No longer be a part of my life.
My life will go on without you.
Without you - why on earth did you do it?
Do it right for everyone else but me.
But me - I'm fine.
Fine - freaked out, insecure, nervous and emotional.
I am beautiful.
I am good.
I live on hope.
<3