she's gone...

January 28, 2006

Samantha died yesterday morning at 10:45am. ... That's not the way to go - being attacked in your own home. Yet, that is such a stupid thing to say. Anyhoo, I'm watching over my friend right now to make sure he's okay (she was his girlfriend) and it seems like we're getting there. It's so sad. But I guess I can count her lucky that she got to escape from this world sooner than the rest of us.

I have a hunch that I will be dying young. I don't feel like I'm 19 - I feel like I'm 23. Every day I feel as though I've aged a year. When I was 14, I was 13 - I was so young and vulnerable and immature. Then, once I overcame depression, I guess I had to make up for lost time. When I was 17 I felt quite like I was 19. I'm 19 and I feel like 23. Perhaps when I'm actually 23 I'll feel 35... But I can see myself dying at 23. And I'm alright with that. I don't feel as though I'm meant for this world for long. I never got along with it anyhow. I'll do what precious little I can to help others, and then I'll be gone. I can hear that stupid phrase echoing... "She could have accomplished so much if she'd lived longer." What a dumb saying. There was nothing left to accomplish - that's why it was time to die... Unless Satan decided to mess with things. But God makes it work anyhow so we're good.

Sam - que Dios te bendiga en este noche, y por siempre. Tú trabaja está completo... <3